Man Commits Suicide after Sex with Hen
“A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police say. The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise. ‘He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape,’ a police spokesman said on Friday. The man from the town of Chongwe, about 50 km (30 miles) east of Lusaka, killed himself after being admonished by other villagers. The hen was slaughtered after the incident.” — Reuters (UK)
Do you think the guy killed himself out of shame? True, it must be pretty embarrassing when your neighbors criticize you for sodomizing a chicken. What can you say possibly say in self-defense? “Hey, it was a girl chicken. At least I’m not gay!” And for that matter, what was his wife doing running around town telling everybody her husband was a chicken fucker? Was that not the kind of issue that might have been better worked out in a private dialogue between man and wife?
So do you think he killed himself out of shame? Or was it romantic despair after the object of his affections was so brutally slaughtered? Maybe that is the real tragedy of being an animal lover: what’s a dream date to you is just meat to somebody else. Your love bird is somebody else’s poultry. How would you feel if people could kill your romantic partners with impunity?
Hello, and thankyou for linking to our site, otherwise we might have gone longer without noticing your fine coverage of current affairs. Just one minor cavil: since hens have vaginas, which are there for making eggs, and since eggs are usually larger than hen’s faeces, it seems to us entirely likely that this was an instance of vaginal intercourse, and not, as you assume, anal (”sodomizing a chicken”). What do you think?
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The London News Review
Chickens have neither vaginal or anal openings; they have a single cloacal orifice. A simple fact that many poor and impoverished children in London go an entire lifetime without knowing. With your generous donation of just a dollar a day you can help these children live a fulfilling life by helping to buy zoology textbooks and fresh, clean water thatís free of lead and mercury. We have operators standing by on our toll-free 24 hour help line. Visit our website to learn more:
Sounds like another Rick Santorum-inspired act of debauchery.
Hmm, something to think about on my way to the Colonel’s.
This puts a whole new meaning on ‘Eating Chickens’…. XD
How is it physically possible to do that? Plus it is very uncommon and frowned upon to do such things in Africa, hell, homosexuality is a taboo so the guy killed himself in shame for doing something he believed to be an abomination. I wouln’t have picked a hen.
I alway hearded that on the farm in the hen house that guys would do it with hens after they lay eggs is it true anommous
I alway hearded that on the farm in the hen house that guys would do it with hens after they lay eggs is it true anommous
FOUND ON THE INTERNET:
“HOW TO FUCK A CHICKEN”
1. Like any woman, a chicken needs to be in a relaxed and receptive mood before you can successfully have sex with it. If you do not make sure of this, you will end up covered in scratches and peck marks in locations that will be hard to explain. Gently pick the chicken up in both hands and stroke it slowly, so that it becomes accustomed to sitting in your hand. Making soft clucking noises is also a good seduction tip.
2. Get your penis nice and lubricated, and place the head at the entry of the chicken butt. I’m calling it a butt, but it acts as a vagina, an anus, and a urethra all in one (actually, chickens only have one form of elimination). You need to be erect when you do this, because otherwise, it will be hard to enter your new girlfriend.
3. Slowly push your penis inside the chicken. You should have one hand on the neck of the bird, just below the head, so that it cannot peck you. The other hand may need to hold the feet to prevent scratching. Try to keep the bird as calm as you can as you do this.
4. If a chicken butt can accomodate a Grade AAA egg, it can expand to fit your dick, albeit somewhat tightly. However, the butt is not all that deep, and you will hit bottom fairly quickly. Don’t try and push the limits here, just be glad that you’re getting some.
5. If you want, you can wait for your chicken to calm down. However, you’re never going to get much play from the bird either way, so you might as well go ahead and fuck it. Use short, gentle strokes.
6. OPTIONAL STEP: If you have plenty of chickens, or if you are hungry, or if it’s just come time to break up with your chicken, then you can make your last night a memorable one by slitting the bird’s throat at the moment of your orgasm. This will cause some strong twitching that can add some spice to your experience.
And that’s all there is to it! Have fun. And remember: chickens carry salmonella, which is transmitted from the anus to the mouth. So ladies if you believe that your significant other has been having sex with chickens, make sure that his cock is cleaned thoroughly before you give him oral sex.
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