“The 20-year-old San Mateo man who told women on two separate occasions that his penis was caught in his zipper and he needed help pleaded no contest yesterday to indecent exposure… Silva reportedly used the same scheme on two occasions, once to a female nurse in the parking lot of San Mateo Medical Center Dec. 4 and once to a female clerk at a tuxedo shop at Hillsdale Shopping Center Dec. 29. Silva called out for help, saying he caught his penis in his zipper. When the women came over to help, they saw that he had exposed himself and was masturbating, according to the District Attorneyís Office.” — San Mateo Daily Journal (US)

(Thanks to alanr for the link.)

In junior high school there was a kid who everybody liked to beat on. Once a black girl even bashed his head against a cement step. Nobody helped him. Everybody hated him. And what made it even worse was that he often seemed to aggravate his own lot. He did inconceivably stupid things — like the day after gym when he caught his penis in his zipper. He was crying in the locker room while everybody stood around and laughed. The gym teacher — “Coach” — kneeled down in front of him and looked at it. Coach made a face like he was biting down on a sour pickle, gingerly held the penis between forefinger and thumb, and tried to free it. No luck.

Coach ended up calling for the school nurse. By the time she managed to get the dweeb’s penis free, nobody was laughing anymore. The poor guy had had his penis caught in his zipper for at least ten minutes. Even the jocks felt sick to their stomachs. However much they hated the dweeb, they couldn’t resist that basic animal sympathy — they couldn’t stifle that awful thought that crept into their brains… “What if it was you?”

Which means that a guy like this flasher, with his “Help! My dick is caught!” routine, ruins it for the rest of us. Getting your dick caught in your zipper is a serious business. You don’t want nurses or other medical personnel to become jaded when they hear a man cry out in dick distress. You don’t want them to think, “Oh, he’s just a flasher.” You want them to come help you — pronto.

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