“A funeral home employee discovered Allah Saturday on top of the corpse with his pants around his ankles, passed out drunk, according to police spokesman Dewayne Tully. Allah, a former employee at the funeral home, allegedly used a key to let himself in sometime the previous night, went downstairs and removed the corpse from a storage freezer before placing it on the floor… ‘I was shocked, he was such a straightforward guy, he was very intelligent,’ [the owner of the funeral home] said. ‘But when I saw him (on Saturday morning), he was very drunk…he shouldn’t have done it.’” — San Francisco Chronicle (US)

Here is another one of those stories that has real didactic value for perverts everywhere. Dear devotees of debauch and pervs of every persuasion — you would do well, when indulging in sex acts of such illicit nature, to avoid alcohol and drugs. They only impair your reason and thus make you liable to commit the kinds of sloppy little mistakes — like passing out naked on top of the cadaver you’re humping — that get you caught and arrested. Apparently the perp, Mr. Allah, is an otherwise intelligent guy, a “homeless by choice” bookworm who sleeps in Golden Gate Park. (You wonder: did he want to sleep out in the open like a cadaver in a cemetery?) But he failed to heed the maxim that a wise pervert is a sober one.

Interestingly, police have had a hard time figuring out what to charge Mr. Allah with. Currently he’s only charged with trespassing and stealing the key that admitted him to the mortuary. “Trust me,” said an assistant DA in a followup article, “we looked all over the penal codes. We looked everywhere. There is no charge for having sex with a corpse. This is just one of those gaps that the legislature has not dealt with.” You wonder how hard the DA looked, because readers of PervScan will remember that just last year the California Assembly passed a bill making it a felony to have sex with a corpse.

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