Kinky Exterminator
“A Pittsburg pest exterminator has been charged with misdemeanor criminal damage to property after he was arrested by law officers last month on allegations of stalking. Crawford County Sheriff Sandy Horton said Gary Lee McCabe, 49, the owner and operator of Quality Pest Control, was arrested on Feb. 13 after he was caught on a hidden camera allegedly masturbating in a client’s bedroom. The misdemeanor criminal damage to property charge against McCabe was filed Thursday in district court at Girard. ‘The arrangement he had with these particular victims was he was given a key to their home to spray for bugs and then, of course, that’s how he gained entry into the home,’ Horton said. ‘They had been suspicious that there was something going on for over a year. But they weren’t sure what was going on. So they put a hidden camera up. It was a hidden camera in their bedroom. And the hidden camera taped him, basically, I don’t know how else to say it, masturbating in their bedroom.’” — The Morning Sun (US)
You can tell that the police didn’t quite know what to charge this guy with. He wasn’t exposing himself to anybody, so they couldn’t charge him with that. The residents gave him a key to the apartment, so they couldn’t charge him with breaking and entering. They must have settled for criminal damage to property, even though it sounds like he didn’t really damage anything — unless you consider rearranging a few pairs of panties “damage.”
No doubt the guy will claim that he disturbed the lingerie in the dresser drawers because he was looking for bugs. You know how roaches are attracted to underwear. They eat those little yellow and brown stains.
And when the judge asks what prompted the guy to masturbate in his clients’ bedroom, probably he ought to claim that he didn’t give a hoot for his clients’ underwear because he has an irresistible sexual attraction to bugs. He finds termites titillating. Ants give him erections. He masturbates with fly paper and fantasizes about inserting his penis into roach motels. That’s not illegal, is it?
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