Man Removes Penis with Machete
“Virgilio Maldonado found the body part. He says as soon as he set foot on his job site, off of 6 Mile Line and Conway, he spotted a long trail of blood leading inside. ‘It was a shock when we found the bloody machete and the man’s penis next to it on a bag of concrete.’ At first Maldonado couldn’t or didn’t want to believe what he had found. ‘I thought maybe it was people hunting and that it was part of a rabbit. Then my son saw it and said no… that it was part of a man,’ he said.” — Team4news.com (US)
Calling all screenwriters! Here is the perfect beginning for that film you always wanted to write for David Lynch… Construction worker shows up at job site, finds amputated penis. “Must be a rabbit leg, son…” The boy looks at it. “Ugh! Dad! That’s somebody’s wee-wee!” The man looks again. “It can’t be,” he gasps in disbelief… And you develop the story from there. What happens? What weird mystery is opened up by the orphaned penis?
The truth is at once more mundane and more bizarre than you’d probably imagine.
The mundane part is that the construction worker hailed a cop, who put it in a bag with some ice. (How’d he pick it up — with a pair of pliers?) Meantime, the unhappy automutilator stumbled bleeding into a police station, and was soon reunited with his missing member in the local hospital. Police say he’s mentally disturbed — duh.
The bizarre part is this: it is truly astonishing just how many people castrate themselves. It’s the kind of thing you couldn’t have realized before the internet, since self-castrations probably only make it into your local paper once in a lifetime. But if you put together all the castrations in all the world’s newspapers, which is what the internet does, you just can’t imagine the number of guys who wig out and lop off their dicks. Maybe it doesn’t happen every day, but as a rough guess it must happen roughly once a week or so. Somebody needs to do an epidemiological study and find out.
(severing one’s penis is not castration.)
Several years ago I read a case study in a medical journal of a disturbed young man who castrated himself to quell his sexual impulses. When that didn’t work, he tried to remove his adrenal glands, but failed, his liver kept getting in the way.
If that guy wants to quell sexual urges I would recommend targetting the testes and not the penis. The penis does not produce testosterone, as any fairly educated person should know.
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