Put Some Tits on That Logo
“Budget airline Ryanair is expanding — by giving its flying angel logo bigger boobs. Boss Mike OíLearyÝ ordered the change for his 150 swell new Boeing 737-800 jets. The image boost was first spotted by Ryanair workers at Stansted airport. One said: ‘Bosses thought the angel was flat-chested and someone ordered, Give her bigger boobs. We want her to stand out…’ A spokesman said: ‘We decided to give our customers a more uplifting experience. We think she is rather aerodynamic.’” — The Sun (UK)
(Yes, the link shows before and after pictures of the logo.)
Sometimes when you read the analyses of cultural critics, they seem downright paranoid. Media analysts imagine creative directors consciously embedding subliminal sexual messages into their advertising projects. Feminists, cloistered away in ivory towers, imagine old-boy clubs dominating corporate board rooms. And yet do you really think it’s as simple as all that? It’s hard to believe the average executive in charge of advertising really says, “I won’t sign off on that ad unless Joe Camel’s nose looks more like a dick. We want our customers to think smoking gives them better erections!”
And yet here comes Ryanair doing exactly what the critics imagine them doing — sexing up their brand in the most blatant possible way. Somewhere in a corporate boardroom there was an executive who said, “Jesus Christ, I can’t tell if our logo is even a guy or girl. How can we compete in the international marketplace if everybody thinks we’re a fag or a hermaphrodite or something? Put some tits on that logo already.”
The whole thing is especially ironic since the image in the logo is supposed to represent an angel. Usually people think of angels as sexless, epicene, genderless — and if angels really could fly, this would make good sense. Far from being aerodynamic, big boobs or a really big dick would cause all manner of problems for any flying creature: instability, air friction, steering difficulties. If anybody really put big floppy tits on the underside of an airplane’s wings, you wouldn’t dare get on it. (And pity the poor airplane, its nipples scraping against the tarmac as it lands…)
Comments on tits not being aerodynamic – referencing a little fact and history.
Rolls Royce’s Spirit of Ecstasy has “tits” and Rolls Royce have historically admitted that, following latter wind tunnel trials that the Spirit of Ecstasy actually contributed to the aerodynamism qualities of the car. It was found that the body of the figurine gracing the radiator forced the airflow past the upper body and under the wings causing air to be evenly distributed over the shape of the vehicle in two vortices. Were it not for the fact that the shape of the figure’s breasts must have contributed to a part of the airflow due to the fact that the entire bodies shape would have had to be taken into the calculations I would have filed this under “dubious”.
So, it seems, “tits” have an aerodynamic quality -certainly on the RR.
Can you imagine what an outcry would ensue from businessmen and statesmen that bought the car had RR removed the ‘offendending articles’ today ?
They would not have been amused.
At least Ryanair did not insult women with huge Tomb Raider like manifestations. For that we have to be thankful and applaud Ryanair for having the bright idea of at least identifying the fact that women are a contributory factor to the success of their airline.
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