“A voyeur fell to his death in southern China after climbing up the side of a building to get a better look at a woman’s naked body. The woman was a prostitute, who leapt to her death from an apartment in Shenzhen after being held hostage. The man climbed up the building after a large crowd gathered around the body, the Hong Kong edition of the China Daily reported. His death set off rumours that the ghost of the woman had lured the man to his death to be her companion in the afterlife.” — Sydney Morning Herald (Australia)

(Thanks to Lily for the link.)

If ghosts really could select one living person to take with them into the afterworld, it would have a profound impact on society. Think about it. If you knew that just by jumping off a building you could pick Nicole Kidman to be your eternal bride, you would no doubt go jump off a building. What more could you ask from heaven than Nicole Kidman? (Ladies, fill in your own heartthrob.)

But then the problem, of course, is that Nicole Kidman wouldn’t want to be a famous actress, because the moment you became famous, you’d fear for your life. Nobody would want to be famous or beautiful or glamorous or even lovable anymore. For fear of being hauled into the afterworld with a hunchbacked dwarf, we would all take the greatest pains to be ugly, nasty, unlikable, anonymous. In the morning we’d scar our faces in the mirror and rub excrement in our armpits to accentuate the bad smell. We’d scratch “fuck off” into our foreheads with a razor blade. We’d pick our noses in front of the paparazzi and flick boogers at our fans.

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