“A French judge has been caught masturbating in court. The un-named magistrate was seen masturbating in a court in Angouleme. Three witnesses, a lawyer, a woman in the public gallery and a journalist, all reported seeing the act. French newspaper Charente Libre, whose reporter was among the witnesses, said it happened as an attorney was pleading his case. The witnesses confirmed they saw the judge raise his judicial gown, open his trousers and ‘perform unmistakable movements.’” — Ananova (UK)

Unfortunately, the papers don’t say what case was being pleaded before Judge Jerk Off. But then again, maybe that’s not so important to know, since it is hard to escape the feeling that there is something deeply symbolic about this incident. Isn’t it really just a way of saying that the judge gets off on power? That the ability to determine people’s fates is its own stimulant? Power is an aphrodisiac, they say, and therefore the impartiality of every judge must dissolve into a smoldering state of heightened arousal. And presumably this arousal would be proportional to the power at stake, so that judges presiding over traffic court don’t experience much erotic tension, while those presiding over capital cases must undergo extreme titillation. After all, if power is an aphrodisiac, what could be sexier than determining whether or not to execute somebody?

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