“Perverts are using cordless drills to bore spy-holes in a swimming pool’s changing room so they can watch girls undress. The Peeping Tom technique was revealed after one 10-year-old girl who was getting dressed saw someone peering at her through a small hole in the cubicle wall. She told her mum, who raised the alarm with staff at Hamilton Water Palace the next day. Yesterday, the concerned mum revealed she was told 10 cubicles in the communal changing rooms had been ‘compromised.’ Staff have to block the holes on a daily basis.” — Daily Record (UK)

In naming its entries, PervScan does not always use the same title as the article it quotes. In this case, though, “Pervs’ Drill Thrill” comes straight from the Daily Record. It’s a catchy title, though not necessarily a good one — which amounts to something of a paradox, because you might think that being catchy is all a good title needs to do. And yet it’s not.

First, the title is catchy because of the obvious rhyme, although using the possessive abbreviation “pervs’” is not exactly euphonious. It would have sounded better to the ear to say “Drill-Thrill Pervs.”

Second, the title is also catchy because of what it hints at. “Pervs’ Wrench Thrill” or “Pervs’ Pliers Thrill” does not prick the imagination the way “Pervs’ Drill Thrill” does. Why? Is it because of the obvious comparison between a drill and a penis? Does it make you imagine perverts acting out some horror-film scenario by going around raping women with drills? “Kill” also rhymes with “drill” and “thrill,” and when you read the first part of the first sentence and see that it’s a matter of cordless drills, you feel confirmed in your suspicions. A cordless drill is a perfect weapon, after all. It’s portable, frightening, dangerous, like a handgun.

Third, as you finish reading the first sentence, you realize that your suspicions were absolutely wrong. It’s not a matter of demented perverts raping girls with power tools, it’s a matter of peeping on girls changing their swimsuits. The realization comes as a bit of a letdown. After all, spying on changing women is entirely commonplace — what man hasn’t spied on a woman changing? — whereas raping with a drill is rarer, more extreme, genuinely hard core. And because it’s more extreme, the titillation it offers to imagination is correspondingly more intense, which is also why purveyors of porn try (and usually fail) to offer ever more “extreme” and “forbidden” acts. “Pervs’ Drill Thrill” is thus a bad title precisely because it promises more than it delivers. In fact, it doesn’t even accurately describe what it delivers, since strictly speaking the thrill of the pervs does not lie in drilling but rather in peeping.

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