“Having sex while driving at 100 kph (60 mph) down a motorway is not an offence in Germany. But if you hit something make sure you don’t run off. A Cologne court fined a man who admitted he was having sex with a blonde hitchhiker sitting astride him when he drove his car into a road sign. But only because he fled the scene of the accident with his naked accomplice. ‘The man was convicted of hit-and-run and sentenced to a fine of 600 euros,’ court spokesman Juergen Mannebeck said on Tuesday. ‘It’s hard to believe but in fact no law was broken with the intercourse on the motorway. It’s a situation lawmakers never thought about.’” — Yahoo (US)

J.G. Ballard must be smiling if he’s heard this story, since it reads like an episode from his notorious book Crash: anonymous sex (the driver claimed not even to know the hitchhiker’s name) culminating in a collision — and of course you can’t help but wonder if the collision coincided with sexual climax, the car jerking to a halt, the windshield cracking, semen spurting onto the speedometer…

Here in America, lawmakers have been busy making it a crime to drive while speaking on a cell phone. Obviously the idea is that the distraction prevents the driver from concentrating on the road. (Interestingly, though, a recent study claimed that cell phone users tend to be more distracted than non-users even when they’re not actually speaking on their phones. So maybe rather than prohibit the phone, we should just prohibit the people?) At any rate, the funny thing about such laws is that it means you can end up getting a ticket for having phone sex but not for having sex while driving.

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