“A University of British Columbia researcher who has investigated [Stonehenge] for several years has announced he has uncovered its true meaning: it is a giant fertility symbol, constructed in the shape of the female sexual organ… Even more convincing, says Perks, is the similarity between Stonehenge seen from above and the anatomy of the female sexual organ. His article includes a map of the former, which is compared, point by point, with a detailed diagram of the latter. Of these features, the most important concern the central empty area that is enclosed by the monument’s inner circle of giant bluestones. ‘This central area is empty because it represents the opening to the world, the birth canal,’ says Perks. Stonehenge was therefore constructed to honour the Earth Mother for ‘giving both life and livelihood.’” — Guardian Unlimited (UK)

Although this is an interesting and not entirely implausible theory, Stonehenge experts have not yet embraced it. They point out that Stonehenge was built over a period of 1500 years by a series of different cultural groups, so that it is difficult to impute an exact intention to the design — which is not to say that the last society to work on it might not have wanted to make it resemble a vagina. Another objection is that, if it was supposed to look like a vagina from above, who was its intended audience? Obviously there was no air travel back in Stonehenge days — though it is possible the builders approximated the resemblance so that it would be seen by whatever divine beings inhabited the skies. Finally, there is that problem of seeing in Stonehenge whatever you want to see. Freudians tend to see a phallus in any object that is longer than it is wide. You can well imagine a Freudian of the future speculating that a skyscraper was a twentieth-century fertility symbol in the shape of a phallus. So might this latest researcher — a gynecologist by profession — not be committing the same blunder? After all, you could claim that any group of concentric circles resembles a vagina: outer labia, inner labia, clit, cervix…

On a more general note, it is astonishing when you think about it that more monuments aren’t made in the shape of genitalia. They play a crucial role in human life and loom large in the human imagination. If a general wins a battle, they put up a statue of him in a park somewhere — and yet when your genitalia win the battle against death, when your genitalia perpetuate the human species, what do they get? No monument, no statue. Nothing! Regardless of whether the resemblance was intended, perhaps we can learn a lesson from the vaginality of Stonehenge — perhaps we ought to create triumphal arches in honor of our crotches, or add penises to the colossal faces on Mount Rushmore.

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