Big Dick, Big Mistake
“A German who borrowed £5,000 from his mother for a penis extension is demanding a refund after it ended up shorter and deformed. Walter Schmidt, 26, said: ‘It’s shaped like a triangle now after one of the implants slipped down the bottom. It’s thick at the bottom and pointed at the top — and every time I put a condom on it falls off.’ The Munich man’s ordeal started last autumn when he decided to have three eight centimetre implants inserted into his penis. He was sent home with a drip to collect fluid, but was in such pain after three days that he went back to the hospital, where doctors discovered the wound had been infected. He was in hospital for two more weeks and off work for six, and said that since then he’s been in constant pain and has to walk with a limp. Mr Schmidt, who says his penis is now two centimetres shorter, is demanding a refund.” — Ananova (UK)
This story has all the makings of a Greek tragedy. It’s as though there is a divine will, a reason for everything — including the size of your penis — and when you dare to defy it, you only end up getting punished somehow. Anatomy is destiny, said Freud, and thus surgery is hubris, implants heresy — and the angry Fates contrive to leave you shorter rather than longer. You’re lucky if they don’t transform you into a naked statue to serve as a warning to anyone else willing to tempt fate by disputing the size of their anatomy.
And to continue with Greek tragedy and Freud, how could a guy approach his mother for the money to pay for surgery to elongate his penis? It’s so blatantly Oedipal. You can sense the inferiority complex building as the boy compares himself to the father, sees himself as smaller and thus less appealing to the mother. Jealous of the father, he desires a bigger phallus to win back the mother’s affection, and then he gets her to acknowledge her desire for incest by loaning him the money and thereby encouraging him to usurp the father…
This is one guy who needed a psychologist more than a surgeon — and in retrospect, no doubt he probably feels the same.
if he didn’t need a psychologist then, i’m sure he needs one now. how does a man get over the fact that his love-stick has taken on a slightly different geometrical design?
I agree, fancy paying all that money (borrowed from your mother??) and ending up with not only a shorter member but a triangular one – talk about kick ‘em while they’re down! A comforting thought would be that there are plenty of vain, superficial women out there who’ve been taught a lesson about messing with nature – perhaps one of them has a triangular vagina??
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