“Eric Borecky on Tuesday told jurors he was struggling to pull on a pair of shorts June 4 when he fell asleep in his truck across the street from Frank Zeek School. The 32-year-old Ukiah man is charged with lewd conduct in a public place and probation violation for the incident. He claims he was not purposely exposing himself and that it was a coincidence he had pornographic magazines and lubricant with him.” — Ukiah Daily Journal (US)

Man with previous conviction for lewd conduct just happens to be carrying masturbation aids when he stops in plain view of schoolgirls to satisfy sudden need to change underwear — and falls asleep undressed! No doubt it is difficult to see why anyone would think that this is anything other than an unfortunate series of coincidences. After all, it is very important to wear clean underwear, and if you just happen to park in front of an elementary school when you remember to change, then all those kiddies ought to look the other way. Don’t their parents teach them that it is not polite to stare? Certainly it is their voyeurism and not the defendant’s exhibitionism that is really at issue. Children should not be having dirty thoughts when a man is merely trying to put on clean underwear. It must be all that sex they see on MTV. It perverts them. Yeah, that must be it.

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