Magnetic Dildo
“The invention is a sexual aid in the form of an adult erect penis, which may enhance the user’s sexual experience and health by utilizing the theories of magnetic therapy… Since magnets exert a powerful attraction to the iron content in the blood, this force penetrates the outer layers of skin, muscle and fatty tissue to the capillaries that feed directly into the bloodstream… Sexual stimulation, principally in women, may be increased with the use of magnets. The woman’s vaginal tissue is loaded with blood vessels. When sexually aroused, these blood vessels become engorged with blood and press against the tissue, forcing natural tissue fluids through the walls of the vagina. Bringing a women’s genital region into contact with a magnet device would cause the vessels to further expand, thereby increasing the pleasure experienced by a woman during sexual stimulation.” — USPTO (US)
Sometimes it is difficult to believe that the USPTO is not run by chimpanzees, given the range of inventions to which they grant patents. Certainly this magnetic dildo is a fine example of one of the less brilliant patents issued by the office. The claim is that the magnet attracts iron in the blood, excites blood vessels, and thereby enhances sexual stimulation for the woman using it. While it would be interesting to hear from some women who have actually tested the device, the science behind the invention is all wrong. Blood is in fact repelled by magnetic fields, not attracted by it — and the repulsion is so weak that it is doubtful you could feel it in your genitalia. (See the Sceptical Inquirer’s excellent site for a level-headed look at the science behind the claims of magnetic therapy.)
So how do you explain the fact that patents get issued for bogus science? Do the USPTO boys investigate the scientific principles behind patent requests? Or do they content themselves with empirical tests of patent claims? In other words, do they keep a sex lab where the current employee of the month can go try out the latest dildo patents (and, weirdly enough, there are a lot of them)? If Betty emerges from the sex lab happy, do they issue the patent? Are they afraid to turn down dildo patents for fear the dildo makers will stop sending in novel dildos?
in my opinion, ALL sexual devices should be thoroughly tested.. furthermore, this process should be videotaped and sold at porn video shops everywhere.
mmmm… sexlab porn.
Great idea, Natti. Every sex toy should have the porn equivalent of the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. How else can you know whether or not you’re getting a dildo that does what it claims? And the videotapes would help to instill consumer confidence, since you could actually see the experimenters trying out the various devices… Probably, though, the most popular tapes would be for the devices that didn’t work — not just blooper tapes or outtakes, but videos in which sex toys backfire disastrously, causing injury and mayhem… Dildos that burst into flames, ben wa balls that explode in damaged rectums, love dolls that melt on contact and cause chemical burns on sensitive tissues… People would like that. You know they would.
Aye, that they would, that they would. The testers could even be given hazard pay. Now wouldn’t that be a great job to apply for? You get to play with sex toys and get payed for it, the perfect job for nymphos…….. she’s gonna kill me.. So in conclusion, paying someone to test your toy = good, not paying someone to test your toy = bad
Demon,
An idea: How about a magnetic vaginal dildo and an iron anal dildo. When you do the in and out motion on vaginal dildo automatically there is anal in and out motion. Has any one tried?
This sounds SO useful to me right now. I just lost a genital piercing inside my lady and could really use a magnetic dildo right now…
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