[Note: In addition to its news scan, PervScan is also going to be scanning the patent database of the USPTO for unusual patents relating to perversion and sex. Following is PervScan's first feature patent.]

“This invention regards a novel and unobvious dietary supplement formulation of relatively specific ratios of fruits, vegetables, and spices that when ingested by the male results in a significant improvement to the taste of the male ejaculate by reducing its generally salty and/or bitter taste while also adding a pleasant flavor that is considered by 98.5% of all customers as very enjoyable. This formulation of ingredients can take many product forms including but not limited to a drink powder, tablet, chewable tablet, or capsule form.” — USPTO (US)

Certainly this is the start of something big. For now, the idea is just to improve the taste of semen though the ingestion of a proprietary supplement consisting of pineapple juice, banana, broccoli, celery, strawberry, cinnamon, ginger root, nutmeg, and a few other ingredients. But why stop there? Why not make a kind of Kool Aid for semen? You could ejaculate in different colors and flavors — purple semen that tastes grape, green that tastes like lime, etc. Maybe they could even fine-tune the supplement so that you could deliver prescription drugs through ejaculate. (This would be a tremendous boon for people who have difficulty swallowing pills. Semen slides down the throat much easier than tablets or capsules.)

Of course, unscrupulous individuals might also view this as a clever way of dealing illicit drugs. They could ingest some kind of heroin supplement and then spurt it out through their cocks. You’d see them standing on street corners whispering to passersby, “Blow me for dope. Blow me for dope.”

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