“A handful of lawyers turn child sexual abuse into big business… But this wave of litigation does not end here. Is there any reason to think that the priesthood has a monopoly on child molestation? The lawyers who are winning settlements from Catholic dioceses are already casting about for the next targets: schools, government agencies, day care centers, police departments, Indian reservations, Hollywood. Plaintiff lawyer Roderick MacLeish Jr. and other litigators have parlayed the priest crisis into a billion-dollar money machine, fueled by lethal legal tactics, shrewd use of the media and public outrage so fierce that almost any claim, no matter how bizarre or dated, offers a shot at a windfall.” — Forbes (US)

You don’t want to trivialize how serious a problem child abuse is, and yet these waves of litigiousness can’t help but make you imagine a day when people will be afraid to do anything — have sex, even — for fear of legal ramifications. We’ll all have to purchase Copulation Insurance and pay premiums for different levels of coverage: the basic package covers reproductive heterosexual coupling (read the small print: missionary position only), and everything else requires an additional premium, a fee for fellatio and a surcharge for anal.

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