“It’s 2pm on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Normally, I’d be snuggled up on my sofa with a bowl of pasta in my hand and EastEnders on the telly. Instead, I’m in a sex shop in Sheffield being blindfolded with a silk scarf and having smooth, slippery objects inserted into my mouth. Welcome to Tracey O’Rourke’s Erotic Writing Workshop at Gash, an aptly-named sex store run by the aptly-named Julia Gash.” — Daily Mirror (UK)

This is a pretty great idea, and hopefully Ms. Gash will have a lot of success with it. That being said, you can’t help but think that most people probably need more tutelage in writing than in eros. Sex doesn’t take much brains to figure out but writing — writing well — is hard work. Moreover, to the extent that bad spelling and grammar are a turn-off, the most erotic writing may simply be that which is clean and correct…

Perhaps the ideal would be for a dominatrix to teach grammar, and for the pupil to be humiliated for every solecism — whipped for a split infinitive, spanked for a malapropism.

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